All you guys gave me really god advice..but?

im not married,He's a musician and iv'e supported every thing he's ever done. Iv'e tried to spice things up but he's too tired. All he talks about is band, work and the computer. He works full time (in a supermarket) and im a full time student and mother, i also take care of my sick grandma but i make time for him, i buy sexy underwear, i cook him dinner. im very passionate about music, it's why we got together in the first place but that only takes me so far...Help me please.. i love him so much but he makes me feel unfullfilled and unhappy. I cant cry everynight till death do us part.All you guys gave me really god advice..but?
the CAD ...





HOLD UP...if he dont want you i'll be there with bells on. With all jokes aside..





YOU keep house


YOU care for your child


YOU go to uni


YOU care for your sick grandmother


YOU cook everyone dinner


YOU buy sexy laungerie


YOU are passionate about HIS passion


YOU put out for him...without being asked





and he rolls over and goes to sleep ... the CAD





My heart goes out to you sweety for the effort you're putting in. However, it takes two to tango hun and the CAD has to put in the same amount of effort as well and If he truely loves you i'm sure he will. Especially if the other alternative is to pack his bags.





Firstly you need to discuss your true inner feelings with him. Make an appointment with him i.e. ';tomorrow night 9pm we talk';. Then spill your guts to him and tell him how you feel. Secondly, negotiate and compromise i.e. tell him what you want and see what he suggests, or visa versa. But dont leave that conversation without an agreement i.e. He will cook every other day %26amp; you all get jiggy with it every third day, he takes the kid out for ice cream on tuesdays and you all have a family day on sundays where you both alternatively choose the activity.





Hes not coming to the party hun and he needs to understand this and he needs to make the effort also. But firstly you must TELL him how you feel because ...um...us men can't read minds ;)All you guys gave me really god advice..but?
perhaps, you have talked to him. talk to him again and again.


it can be difficult but you have to try.


or, you can accept his faults and go on.


no matter what you decide to do, be patient.
maybe that he has a lower drive than yourself?





while most men would appreciate your efforts (and admire you for them) there are men that can feel threatened by a woman in this way.


tiredness is a sure fire killer of all things, for his own health if nothing else he needs to make some time, hopefully time for you both.


has he other problems, tiredness is a sign of a depressed mind also and can point to a lot of other things, minor health problems that he does not even realise are there.


but, from a male point of view, reading about the effort you are making, i am wondering is he worth this effort, a relationship involves 2 people working together in ALL things.
Please reconsider this relationship, because if music is all that you have in common, it will never be enough. I understand completely what you are saying, because I am in the same boat you are in - except I am about three years ahead of you. Trust me, he will never change for you. I am in the process of ending this mess I am in, for I have read the writing on the wall, and it is not good - for me. He has time for everyone and all his little projects and I am only an afterthought. I know your little heart is breaking, but please think about where you place in his heart. The only thing sadder then saying ';I have been in a dead end relationship for three years'; is ';I have been in a dead end relationship for four years.'; Good luck to you.
From a musician I`ve never seen one that didn`t have time for the opposite sex.Also I don`t care how bad a man looks on stage some how he can get all the women he wants and more.Most working entertainers ,in local bands anyway,as I`ve had a lot of dealings with musicians ,have a very high ego.Music is their life even when they have to do other things that helps make their living.Do you go with him to practices?Do you go to gigs?Do you get involved with him and the music?I know from experience that I love to entertain and when I`m on stage I`m working but I`m also out and parting too. and I don`t mean getting drunk ,just have more fun singing and entertaining then going to a party.Get involved.If he still doesn`t have time for you then you should take a close look at your relation ship.
You sound really like a fine person but the guy is a loser. Time to go on your way and maybe you will find someone who will be much nicer to you. Is the child his? Well, he can support the child and you and the baby can move on.
I blame fairy tales and my own parents short comings when trying to come to terms with my own existence.





'You've got to learn to make your own mistakes.' for example; why?





Blame the media, schools, parents, religion and Government for your unrealistic expectations of existence.
I suggest Couple's Therapy. Or, You could sit down and talk to him. Put your foot down girl, and demand he make time for you. If you cook and clean and do everything, The least he could do if respect you and listen to you. Im a mother too of a beautiful 2 y/o boy and believe me, It's hard. I am married and do everything around the house, (cleaning, cooking and taking care of everyone. ) and it's hard. I wouldn't trade it for nothing though. Just tell him to make time for you and listen. Otherwise, Find someone who will take care of you and help you and listen...I hope this helps....I am no Therapist....Just giving a lil advice.HeHe.
try talking to him about things. let him know how you feel. thats the only best way to fix things. if he loves you aswell he will try to improve himself. good luck, and always remember talking to him about your feelings is the best way to go.
Let him know how you feel is all I can say, bottling it up and not letting him know how you feel will solve no problems. No one can know exactly how you feel unless you tell them.





If he doesn't want to do anything about it then he's probably not the one for you, and you may want to consider moving on as much as it will hurt.





Honestly, he doesn't sound like anything that special, but then again I don't know him, and that's not my place to judge.
tell him to wake up shut up and take you out to dinner more
you sound like a very sweet gf. i wish my gf does something like that for me. anyways about your situation i feel that your doing a lot of struggling yourself. trying spend time with your bf. but the question is does your bf feel the same way? its very hard to fight something like that by yourself, when the battle takes two people. so i think the best way to answer that is to communicate. communication is the key to a relationship. you should talk about about what are your needs. lots of compromising needed in order to have a happy relationship. good luck