I'm sure she loves you. Some girls really need their friends a lot more than others. I don't think one or the other should come before either until after you make the commitment and are fully married. You may have different views than her but her friends were there before you and she has a different kind of trust in them than in you. It doesn't mean she trusts you less and it doesn't mean she loves you less. It's just they were always there for her in other ended relationships and problems and it would be difficult to be without them. I don't think she meant it in any way to hurt you and it's not a wrong thing to say. It's just another point of view, and you way of seeing it isn't necessarily wrong either.Girls or guys, can you please give me advice?
I completely understand where she's coming from. It'd be like . . . hm. I don't know how to explain it, but when I started dating my boyfriend I started putting him before EVERYTHING and then we broke up and I had nothing left because I had abandonned everything that he didn't like or didn't want just so that he would be happy. I think she doesn't want to do that. She doesn't want to lose all of her friends and maybe she thinks that putting you first would bring her a step closer to doing that.
well wat i say to my bf is im a packaage deal if you want me you have to except my friends as yours and i will do the same for you. i think that is wat your gf means. if you ask me theres no need to worry because me being a girl i know that i wouldnt say i love you to a guy if i dont mean it. she probably is just looking for somone els to talk 2 and a second opinion on advice and thats why she is going to her ex.
Well i think you've come to a stage where she should be putting you before her friends. Come on now, your considering to become husband and wife, your suppose to be her best-friend kinda thing. Nothing wrong with what you think, but i think you should think about marrying her again!
No you're not wrong and neither is she. You guys just have diffrent perspectives and thats okay as long as you both understand and respect eachother. I put my boyfriend before my friends because to me my boyfriend is my best friend. I still love and care about my friends very much though.
A healthy relationship means an endearing trust and confidence between the two people. The most long-lasting and happiest marriages I have seen, the spouses trust and love each more than any other friend.
You sound like a sweet person. I think a boyfriend should come first, but friends are also necessary. Give your lady time to heal over her loss, and things will come together for both of you. All the best
YES
http://www.youtube.com/watch?v=DoP16NQp1DA
Watch all hoebusters episodes
they will each you everything you need to know
well if she really likes you and you know she is saying the truth then just ignore everything. go for what your heart tells you.
I would put my boyfriend in front of my friends, maybe she just has a different perspective.
eryone handles relationships differently
well i mean she loves you and her friends go woth your gut feeling
go with your gut
Your life long partner is supposed to be your best friend. If she has a ';best friend'; then she doesnt treat everyone equally. Shes not making sense.
She seems to be worried about losing contact with her friends and dedicating too much of her life to you.
Shes afraid.
At some point you will become before her friends if it was meant to be. At this time however shes so afraid of what happened when she obsessed over her last guy that shes afraid it might happen with you too.
You havent said anything that makes me believe you are in an unhealthy relationship.
You two have different perspectives on what love is.
To me lovers that are soulmates are best friends. They do the majority of things together but they still cherish the time they get to spend with friends. I think soul mates have a good circle of friends that are genuine to both of them. This way nobody feels like they are losing friends. When they go out they go out with FRIENDS. Together or apart. But at the end of the day there is always a number one. Maybe a number one girl and a number one boy. Its only natural.
Maybe just tell her the truth. You are doubting her slightly her based on her perspective of how soul mates feel about each other. Discuss with her what it means to be soul mates.
I'm not sure what you think is wrong?
A friend and a lover are too different to compare.
When she says she looks at everyone equally, she means she trusts them like she trusts you.
A Boyfriend: She loves him, there is intimacy
A Friend: Someone she can go to the mall with, talk about prom, hairstyles etc.
She obviously doesn't share intimacy with her friends, but from how you put it, she loves you. Cherish it, if a girl puts her lover before to much, the slightest error can cause the world to collapse. You, my friend, are in a healthy, balanced relationship.
If a dog only knows the caged yard and you set it free, it will never wander to see the beauty in nature.
You are not a dog, but the parable holds.... Here is a perscription for a healthy relationship...
1) she does things with her friends
2) you do things with your friends
3) you do things together
4) you communicate deeply and honestly with each other
5) you work through your problems....
Guys like to ';solve'; problems, girls need someone to ';listen';. Listen more and offer solutions less. She really doesn't want your solution, only to know that you will be there and that you are a great listener. If you are talking, then you are not listening.
Sounds like you need some more self confidence, hang out with your friends more and do guy things (positive healthy guy things). The more experiences you have apart the more that you will bring to the relationship. The more varied your experiences, the more you will have to talk about.
In housing speak, you wouldn't want to build an addition until you knew the foundation was solid. Work on the foundation, so you can build a great addition.
I'm not sure whether to say yes or no. Thinking about it, I thought maybe she's a bit insecure because of her last boyfriend. But at the same time, maybe she feels like if she goes out, then she isn't putting you first, which is how it should be. I can't really tell you to change your views or that she isn't the one, because you are the only one to know that. HOWEVER, you should know that girls don't usually ever get over any guy. I mean, they had feelings for them once right? It's like if you left her but in a few months she gets in a car accident, you'd still care for her right? And if this last guy was controlling, then it's bound to leave some type of mark on any relationship after him. Just try and spend time with her more. If you already do that and she isn't interested, I would talk to her.. let her know how you feel. She might feel better knowing you want her to have a social life and you don't have a problem with her being with anyone, guys or girls. Even if you do, at some point she needs to feel the trust she obviously didn't get from the other guy.. Good luck.
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